February 06, 2023

'The Vanishing'

The Ringer's Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan must drink the coffee to experience what it's like to rewatch 'The Vanishing,' starring Jeff Bridges, Kiefer Sutherland, Sandra Bullock, and Nancy Travis.

Movie poster

Cast

Jeff Bridges as Barney Cousins

Kiefer Sutherland as Jeff Harriman

Sandra Bullock as Diane Shaver

Nancy Travis as Rita

Categories

Roger Ebert's review

Quote from Rog's review:

George Sluizer has directed two films named The Vanishing and one is a masterpiece. And the other is laughable, stupid and crude.

First one-star Ebert review in the history of the podcast (~275 episodes).

Most re-watchable scene
  • The first 10 minutes of Barney practicing his chloroform abduction trick.
  • Barney showing up / the answering machine message – 'Hello Jeff. I'm the man you're looking for. I'm Barney.'
  • 'Your obsession is my weapon' / drink the coffee scene.
  • Jeff waking up in a coffin – one of the most terrifying scenes.
  • Rita flipping it on Barney – 'That's right, shithead' – and the shovel to the face ending.
What aged the best?
  • 'Diane Shaver' being an anagram for 'She Vanished.'
  • 'Your obsession is my weapon' – one of the great movie quotes.
  • Sandra Bullock right before becoming a star (Speed was a year later).
  • Kiefer pre-Jack Bauer, in his Flatliners/Lost Boys era.
  • The name 'Barney' as a great villain name.
Best needle drop

Copacabana plays when they're getting hammered.

Most cinematic shot

Waking up in the coffin / the lighter in the coffin.

Weak link of the movie
  • Rita sticking around Jeff after discovering his obsessive 'command post' – she should have left immediately.
  • Nancy Travis's character staying loyal despite 18 reasons to break up with Jeff.
What aged the worst?
  • Hacky sack – weird to watch anyone play hacky sack now.
  • Answering machine messages as plot devices.
  • Jeff's general incompetence – running out of gas, leaving Diane in a dark tunnel.
  • Salon called it the worst remake of all time.
The hottest take award

Bill: 'I'm okay with remaking foreign movies that I would never watch.' If you bring something new, it's fine.

Over-acting award

Jeff Bridges – by far. The insane accent, the weird physicality.

Best "that guy"

Lynn Hamilton – the crazy neighbor / Lucky Charms lady. Fred Sanford's girlfriend on Sanford & Son.

Best "heat check" performance

Sandra Bullock – 'She's fucking throwing smoke. Three scenes. Great job by her.'

Re-casting couch

Discussed switching Nancy Travis and Sandra Bullock – decided no, both work in their roles.

Half-assed (internet) research
  • Budget $20 million, grossed $14.5 million – a bomb.
  • Remake of the 1988 Dutch film 'Spoorloos,' directed by the same director George Sluizer.
  • Jeff Bridges' fake arm cast was a Ted Bundy move – Bundy used the same trick in the '70s.
  • Stanley Kubrick called the 1988 original 'the most terrifying film he had ever seen.'
  • The original ending (Jeff dies in the coffin) was changed after test screenings – 20 extra minutes filmed for the happy ending.
  • The 24-hour missing persons rule is a complete myth.
Apex Mountain
  • Jeff Bridges – no, never had his 'Top Gun' moment but incredible career totality.
  • Nancy Travis – possibly, this plus 'So I Married an Axe Murderer' and 'Internal Affairs' all around the same time.
  • Sandra Bullock – no, Speed is coming.
Picking nits
  • Why doesn't Jeff think Diane just ditched him?
  • Is Diane an orphan? No parents, siblings, or friends ever appear to help search.
  • Why doesn't Jeff just call the police after beating up Barney? Barney uses his real name and teaches at a school.
  • How did Barney bury Jeff so quickly? The logistics don't work time-wise.
Sequel, prequel, prestige TV or untouchable?

Strong candidate. Episode 1: Jeff and Diane's relationship, she vanishes at end. Episode 2: flashback to Barney. Slow reveal like Fleishman Is in Trouble. Referenced The Killing as a comp.

Would this movie be better with...?
  • Samuel L. Jackson as Barney would change the dynamic entirely.
  • Wayne Jenkins as the cop.
(Probably) unanswerable questions
  • Is this movie an allegory for the Kiefer/Julia Roberts aborted wedding?
  • How did Jeff and Rita explain Barney's death?
  • How did Jeff's book do?
What memorabilia would you want (or not want!) from the movie?
  • The thermos.
  • The infinity bracelet.
  • Jeff's red Jeep Cherokee.
Best double feature for this movie
  • The original 1988 Dutch version of 'The Vanishing' – 'though that's a tough four hours.'
  • Jagged Edge – another Jeff Bridges thriller.
Who won the movie?

Jeff Bridges. Both agreed.

Producer review

Craig Horlbeck: had never seen it (initially started watching the wrong movie – the 2018 Gerard Butler film). Thought Jeff Bridges was really good. 'Ignorance is bliss' having no knowledge of the Dutch original.