August 29, 2023

'The Equalizer'

The Ringer's Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan and Bill's dad revisit the 2014 action-thriller 'The Equalizer,' starring Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas, and Chloe Grace Moretz.

Movie poster

Cast

Denzel Washington as Robert McCall

Chloe Grace Moretz as Alina/Teri

Marton Csokas as Teddy

David Harbour as Masters

Melissa Leo as Susan Plummer

Bill Pullman as Brian Plummer

Directed by: Antoine Fuqua

Music by: Harry Gregson-Williams

Notes

  • Budget: $60 million. Box office: $173 million. Spawned two sequels.
  • The only trilogy Denzel has ever done.
  • Denzel added the OCD elements and the Melissa Leo/Bill Pullman backstory himself, interviewing OCD people for research.
  • The Bridge Diner was a set – studio rented a building in Chelsea and converted it over two months.
  • Wesley Morris's Grantland review: 'Denzel pornography. The multiple endings are multi-orgasmic.'
  • Bill Sr. coined the 'five o'clocker' concept – a mediocre action movie you'd catch at 5 PM. This is 'better than a five o'clocker – a 7:30 prime time movie.'

Categories

Most re-watchable scene

Unanimous: Denzel goes to see the Russians (Slavi's office) – the $9,800 scene where he locks the door and kills everyone. Bill: 'Elite six minutes for an action movie.' Bill Sr.: 'If you could only watch 10 minutes, that's those 10 minutes.'

What aged the best?
  • 'Who the fuck are you?' – the classic action movie line, said multiple times.
  • Denzel never uses a gun in the movie.
  • Boston as a setting / Russian mobsters in Boston.
  • Taking the local bus to your final fight showdown.
  • Identifying someone's profession by looking at their hands.
Most cinematic shot
  • Chris: The dissolve from Teddy stretching / his tattoos to the Boston skyline – 'Antoine's really cooking here.'
  • Bill: The overhead shot of Teddy's tattoos – 'It almost looks like it's moving.'
Best needle drop
  • Bill: 'Vengeance' by Zack Hemsey during the Home Depot massacre.
  • Chris: 'New Dawn Fades' by Moby (originally from Heat) before the credits.
Weak link of the movie
  • Bill: It's not a real Home Depot – 'it really bothers me.'
  • Chris: The Alina/Teri music career subplot.
  • Bill Sr.: 'There's no weak link in the film.'
What aged the worst?
  • Explaining Old Man and the Sea to a 17-year-old Russian prostitute.
  • David Harbour's Boston accent – 'an absolute front.'
  • Chris: The OCD stuff – 'I don't really think it lends a ton to the story.'
The hottest take award
  • Chris: Robert can't be a passenger – he's too qualified to let Ralphie be the security guard.
  • Bill: Denzel might be his favorite Desert Island actor filmography (over Cruise and Stallone).
Casting what-ifs
  • In 2010, it was supposed to be Russell Crowe as the Equalizer, directed by Paul Haggis.
  • Nicholas Winding Refn was attached to direct, left one month before production.
  • For the Moretz role, they originally auditioned adult women; she won over Fuqua at 17.
Over-acting award
  • Chris: David Harbour – 'Harbor is screaming the entire movie.'
  • Teddy (Marton Csokas) 'does dial it up a couple of times.'
Best "that guy"

Chris: Johnny Messner – the diner assassin / power lines guy.

Best "heat check" performance
  • Bill Sr.: Ralphie's mother – 'Just looking at the heavens when she gets like $9,000.'
  • Chris: Slavi (David Meunier).
  • Bill: Melissa Leo, Bill Pullman.
Half-assed (internet) research
  • Denzel's apartment at 40 Falcon Street, East Boston (can be Google Earthed).
  • The Bridge Diner was a converted building in Chelsea – the diner doesn't actually exist.
  • Denzel added the OCD elements and backstory himself.
  • Teddy's tattoo (CMEPTB) is Russian for 'death.'
  • Robert's last book is Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man.
Apex Mountain
  • East Boston as a movie location: Yes – 'Hands down.'
  • Boston Herald trucks: Yes – 'I don't remember a Herald truck figuring more prominently into pop culture.'
  • Fake Home Depots / hardware store as killing field: Yes.
  • Denzel: No (too many peaks).
Picking nits
  • Would a diner really stay open all night in East Boston?
  • He kills six guys because of a Russian prostitute he's talked to three times.
  • The $9,800 figure – where did that come from?
  • Denzel playing right field on the softball team (should be left field).
(Probably) unanswerable questions
  • Did Alina/Elena know McCall was the one helping her?
  • Did Robert fly commercial to Russia to kill Pushkin?
  • Did he go back to work at Home Mart on Monday?
Best double feature for this movie
  • Equalizer 2.
  • 'Man on Fire' – Chris: 'Pretend Creasy lives.'
What memorabilia would you want (or not want!) from the movie?

Bill and Chris: The watch (Suunto Core All Black with modified stopwatch).

Best (or worst!) life lessons from the movie
  • Bill: Don't cross Denzel.
  • Chris: 'When you pray for rain, you got to deal with the mud too.'
Who won the movie?

Denzel – unanimously. They've never done a Denzel movie where he didn't win the movie.