May 24, 2021

'The Rock'

The Ringer's Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan are joined by the only podcaster to escape Alcatraz, ESPN's Mina Kimes, to rewatch the 1996 box office hit 'The Rock,' starring Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, and Ed Harris, and directed by Michael Bay.

Movie poster

Cast

Sean Connery as John Patrick Mason

Nicolas Cage as Stanley Goodspeed

Ed Harris as General Francis X. Hummel

David Morse as Major Tom Baxter

Michael Biehn as Commander Anderson

Philip Baker Hall as White House Official

Directed by: Michael Bay

Produced by: Don Simpson, Jerry Bruckheimer

Notes

  • $75 million budget, made $334 million worldwide – fourth highest-grossing movie of 1996.
  • The Rock is a Criterion Collection pick – unusual for a Michael Bay film.
  • Nine writers were involved: David Weisberg, Douglas Cook (story), Mark Rosner (arbitration credit), plus uncredited Aaron Sorkin, Quentin Tarantino, Jonathan Hensleigh, and two British screenwriters Connery brought in who were fired.
  • Nicolas Cage insisted his character would never swear – hence 'What in the name of Zeus's butthole' and similar.
  • Don Simpson created General Hummel after a 60 Minutes piece about the US government refusing to acknowledge soldiers who died on covert missions. This was Simpson's last movie.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger was offered John Patrick Mason – said in a Reddit AMA he regrets not taking it.
  • Tony Scott was supposed to direct but turned it down to do The Fan.
  • Nick Cage showed Bay and Bruckheimer the Richard Dreyfuss scenes from 'Jaws' and said 'this is what I want to do in the bomb dismantling scene.'
  • Sean Connery insisted the producers build him a cabin on Alcatraz so he wouldn't have to commute to the mainland.
  • The car chase was a late addition – Bay felt the movie had too much dialogue in the first act.
  • Nick Cage's run: The Rock, 'Con Air', and 'Face/Off' back-to-back-to-back – pivoting from Oscar-caliber actor to action star.
  • Ed Harris plays Hummel completely straight with zero parody – approaches it like an Oliver Stone film.

Categories

Roger Ebert's review

Quote from Rog's review:

A first-rate, slam-bang action thriller with a lot of style and no little humor.
Most re-watchable scene
  • The morgue scene – Connery throws the knife, the air conditioner kill, 'that's just about the most awful thing I've ever seen' (Mina Kimes).
  • The shower room shootout – SEALs vs. Marines, 'I cannot give that order' (Chris Ryan).
  • The mine cart chase (Bill Simmons).
  • Connery opening the door to Alcatraz through the fire-pattern boiler room – 'Welcome to the Rock'.
What aged the best?
  • Alcatraz as a movie setting – always works.
  • San Francisco car chases.
  • 'Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen'.
  • Nick Cage hamming it up – first full Cage, before it became self-parody.
  • The politics – unusual nuance for a Michael Bay film about government and patriotism (Mina Kimes).
  • The impressive list of 'that guys' who graduated to real careers.
What aged the worst?
  • The movie is too long – 2 hours 15 minutes, some fat in the first third.
  • Anthony Clark as the super-gay hairstylist.
  • Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson becoming one of the most famous celebrities – hard to Google the movie now.
  • Carla (Vanessa Marcil) – not a great character, why is she in the situation room at the end?
Casting what-ifs
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger was offered Mason – regrets not taking it.
  • Tony Scott was supposed to direct but did The Fan instead.
Best "that guy"
  • Gregory Sporleder – the last marine standing with the pronounced chin (Bill Simmons).
  • Stanley Anderson – plays the president in both The Rock and 'Armageddon', suggesting a Bay cinematic universe.
  • Danny Nucci – the marine who ends up hanging upside down after the shower shootout.
Over-acting award
  • Tony Todd (winner).
  • Gregory Sporleder (Captain Frye) – 'we're locked and ready to rock, sir'.
Best "heat check" performance
  • VX gas – first inanimate object ever nominated; very small screen time, looks great (Chris Ryan).
  • William Forsythe (Agent Paxton) – quietly very good, lets Mason's survival slide at the end (Mina Kimes).
Re-casting couch
  • Ving Rhames for Tony Todd's mercenary role.
  • Phil Hartman as the Alcatraz tour guide.
  • Delroy Lindo for one of the mercenary roles (Mina Kimes).
  • John Cusack for Nick Cage's role (Mina Kimes).
Half-assed (internet) research
  • Nine writers total due to Writers Guild arbitration.
  • Cage insisted his character never swear – hence 'Zeus's butthole' etc.
  • Some Navy SEALs in the movie were played by real Navy SEALs.
  • Don Simpson created Hummel after seeing a 60 Minutes piece about unacknowledged soldiers.
  • Filming at the Fairmont Hotel – guests called the front desk thinking someone was dangling from the balcony.
  • Bay's sequel idea: Goodspeed has the microfilm, turns to Mason for help – 'This is essentially National Treasure'.
Apex Mountain
  • Nicolas Cage – Yes, coming off the Oscar for Leaving Las Vegas.
  • Late-career Sean Connery – No, 'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade'.
  • Alcatraz movies – Yes, this is the big one.
  • Michael Bay movies – discussed; Mina says this is his best creatively.
  • Hummers – apex year for Hummers in movies.
Picking nits
  • Connery hasn't driven a car for 35 years but expertly navigates San Francisco.
  • Connery remembering the exact fire-pattern sequence 30+ years later.
  • $83 million is not that much – the government should just pay it rather than bomb San Francisco.
  • Ed Harris has the one man who can stop his mission and just locks him in a cell unguarded.
  • Cage's resistance to atropine – side effects are mild vs. VX gas melting your skin.
Sequel, prequel, prestige TV or untouchable?

Yes – the premise is 'unimpeachable'; could expand on hostage logistics and mutiny politics.

(Probably) unanswerable questions
  • The James Bond theory – debunked but the internet persists.
  • How does atropine injection really work?
What memorabilia would you want (or not want!) from the movie?
  • The microfilm that reveals how Kennedy really died (Chris Ryan).
  • The game-used 1996 Hummer from the movie (Bill Simmons).
  • The underwater approach vehicles (Mina Kimes).
Who won the movie?

Sean Connery (unanimous).