Rewatchables Reference

• Bill: The opening credits where Mason Storm infiltrates the secret dock meeting – great name, terrible camera work, but it all magically works out.
• Bill: The liquor store robbery – five guys come in, Seagal wastes all of them, then casually heads home with his champagne.
• Kyle: The Seagal recovery/training montage – the prison Mike bandana, string tank top, Billy Blanks-style punching, and the legendary running.
• Bill: 'I'm gonna take you to the bank... the blood bank' – the three-second pause before delivery in the most monotone possible voice, followed by the kettledrums.
• Bill: The pool stick brawl, ending with 'That's for my wife. Fuck you and die.'

• Kyle: The 'Steven Seagal IS...' movie title format.
• Bill: Seagal's massive ego – having Kelly LeBrock lift the blanket and react to Mason Storm's anatomy while he's in a coma. He started there, on his second movie.
• Bill: William Sadler as Senator Trent – always think of him as the Shawshank guy.
• Bill: Seagal's running – a 10.0 on any scale, multiple YouTube compilations exist.
• Craig (producer text): Seagal eating with chopsticks right after coming out of a 7-year coma because the Ojai house has no forks.

• Bill: Kelly LeBrock's performance – a mail-in for the most part.
• Kyle: Seagal's coma beard/hair combo – looks like a Halloween costume.
• Bill: The lack of an intimacy coordinator – the love scene with the first wife is disturbingly aggressive, and given Seagal's later sexual misconduct accusations, it plays very differently now.
• Bill: Kelly LeBrock's character is one of the worst female characters ever put on film – introduced by lifting up the coma patient's blanket.

• Kyle: The entire premise of 'Hard to Kill' was stolen by Quentin Tarantino for Kill Bill – someone betrayed and left for dead in a coma, they wake up seeking revenge. Vincent Vega's bolo tie is from the hitman, his ponytail is Mason Storm's ponytail.
• Bill: Steven Seagal was the Billy Corgan of action movies – incredible five-year run, influential, but so loathsome he became a punchline and it retroactively tainted six really good action movies.

• Bill: O'Malley's death scene.
• Bill: Proposed a reverse category – the Steven Seagal Under-Acting Award. Peak example: when he learns his son is alive and says 'I have no words' with zero emotion.

Bill: Branscombe Richmond – classic 'that guy,' big tall guy with a friendly face that can go sinister, has the mullet. Also the bartender in 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'.

• Kyle: The liquor store guy – gets about 5 lines, is magnetic, underplays beautifully, delivers the 'maybe I'll be in a porno' line.
• Bill: The hospital hitman in the bolo tie.
• Bill: Johnny Carson getting about 2 minutes of screen time in a key scene.

• Bill (2022): Tom Brady as Mason Storm.
• Kyle (2022): Channing Tatum – does the unintentional comedy.
• Bill (1990): John Ashton as O'Malley – 'Beverly Hills Cop' 2, 'Midnight Run'.
• Kyle (1990): Sharon Stone as Andy Stewart – she played Seagal's wife in Above the Law and was right there.
• Kyle (1990): Paul Gleason as Senator Trent – Breakfast Club, 'Die Hard'.

• Bill: Seagal didn't get along with director Bruce Malmuth, calling him 'I think it's a miracle that this guy can put one foot in front of the other'.
• Bill: Warner Brothers heavily re-edited the movie to 95 minutes. Lost scenes include an opening family scene, an amusement park scene, and an O'Malley funeral ending.
• Bill: Seagal broke Sean Connery's wrist, married his second wife before divorcing his first, refused to pull punches with stuntmen, spent only three hours a day on set.

• Bill & Kyle: Steven Seagal – 'Under Siege', not this one. This is Apex Mountain of his unintentional comedy.
• Kyle: Acupuncture.
• Kyle: Shitty hitmen – this whole era, but The Fugitive's one-armed Frederick Sykes is the apex.
• Kyle: Ojai.
• Bill: 1990 as the Apex Mountain for action movies – dead center of the 1988-1992 five-year run.

• Bill: Mason Storm's filming at the dock – he can't figure out the camera, yet it perfectly captures Senator Trent.
• Bill: Why do all the cops and bad guys have Chicago/Pittsburgh accents when the movie is set in LA?
• Bill: How did Seagal put acupuncture needles in the middle of his own back?
• Bill: Seagal's recovery from a 7-year coma takes about 25 minutes.
• Kyle: You can see pads on the floor for stuntmen to fall on during the liquor store fight.
• Bill: Kelly LeBrock serving chopsticks to a man who just came out of a 7-year coma.

• Bill: Why not a sequel? Harder to Kill is just sitting there. Followed by Hardest to Kill. Then Impossible to Kill.
• Bill: He rams a rifle into Senator Trent's mouth – wouldn't that knock all his teeth out?
• Bill: Has anyone ever done a worse house-sitting job than LeBrock?

• Bill: The Senator Trent painting in his house – anytime someone has a giant painting of themselves, watch out.
• Kyle: The toilet lid from the final scene that Mason Storm wrote on: 'Anticipation of death is worse than death itself'.

• 'Anticipation of death is worse than death itself'.
• 'First to learn how to heal people. To be great, to hurt people is easy.'
• Kyle: 'Superior attitude, superior state of mind. We're outgunned and undermanned, but we're gonna win.'

• Bill: Above the Law into 'Hard to Kill', then Marked for Death and 'Out for Justice' – recommends the quadruple feature.
• Kyle: 'Hard to Kill' with Lionheart (Van Damme's 1990 movie).