May 04, 2020

'Gladiator'

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! The Ringer's Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano, and Jason Concepcion defy the Roman Emperor by rewatching 'Gladiator,' starring Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix.

Movie poster

Cast

Russell Crowe as Maximus Decimus Meridius

Joaquin Phoenix as Commodus

Richard Harris as Marcus Aurelius

Connie Nielsen as Lucilla

Oliver Reed as Proximo

Tommy Flanagan as Cicero

Ralf Moeller as Hagen

Derek Jacobi as Senator Gracchus

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Music by: Hans Zimmer

Notes

  • Made on a $103 million budget and grossed $457 million worldwide – second highest-grossing movie of 2000.
  • Won Best Picture – the first Best Picture winner in 51 years to win without also winning for writing or directing.
  • Oliver Reed died during filming – $3.2 million extra was spent to complete his scenes with CGI.
  • Russell Crowe's injuries: lost feeling in right forefinger for 2 years, aggravated Achilles, broke a foot bone, cracked hip bone, popped bicep tendons.
  • Joaquin Phoenix ad-libbed 'Am I not merciful?'
  • The 'Gladiator effect' spawned Troy, Alexander, 300, Kingdom of Heaven, King Arthur, The Alamo, Robin Hood.
  • Nick Cave was approached to write a sequel involving Maximus resurrected from hell, time-traveling through wars, ending as a Pentagon general – he wanted to call it 'Christ Killer'.
  • Jack Gleeson modeled Joffrey Baratheon after Commodus in Game of Thrones.

Categories

Roger Ebert's review

Quote from Rog's review:

Gladiator lacks joy. It employs depression as a substitute for personality, and believes that if the characters are colourless enough, we won't notice how thin they are.

The hosts strongly disagreed.

Most re-watchable scene
  • The third gladiator fight / first Colosseum battle – Maximus organizes the slaves using military tactics, then reveals himself: 'My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius...'
  • The opening battle in Germania – 'At my signal, unleash hell'.
  • Commodus killing his father – the 'dad bear hug'.
  • The 'Are you not entertained?' speech.
  • The fourth gladiator fight with the tigers.
What aged the best?
  • Joaquin Phoenix's performance as Commodus – described as the best movie villain of the last 20 years.
  • The fight/action scenes – best sword-and-sandal fight scenes ever.
  • 'It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.'
  • The incest subplot aged well in a post-Game of Thrones world.
What aged the worst?
  • The movie could lose 12-15 minutes; some pacing is laborious.
  • The Elysium/afterlife cutaway scenes feel like a crutch from the chaotic script-writing process.
  • Oliver Reed's last scene looks noticeably fake due to death-related CGI.
  • The 'save the Republic' political subplot doesn't fully land.
Casting what-ifs
  • Mel Gibson turned it down at 43, feeling too old – Bill thinks younger Gibson is the only other actor who could have done it.
  • Hugh Jackman, Antonio Banderas, and Javier Bardem were also considered.
  • Christopher Plummer was pushed by Crowe for Marcus Aurelius but Ridley Scott went with Richard Harris.
  • Angelina Jolie discussed for Lucilla but rejected because she would overpower Commodus.
Best "that guy"
  • Tommy Flanagan as Cicero – 'the guy from 'Gladiator' with the scar on his face,' also known as Chibs from Sons of Anarchy.
  • Ralf Moeller as Hagen also discussed.
Over-acting award

Oliver Reed as Proximo – 'cheered up a lot of the scenery,' described as 'the Dana White of Roman gladiator stuff'.

Best "heat check" performance
  • Richard Harris as Marcus Aurelius – only in 2-3 scenes but absolutely great.
  • Ralf Moeller as Hagen – won the category because 'we've never seen him again'.
Apex Mountain
  • Russell Crowe – unanimous yes, peak of his career.
  • Hans Zimmer – great call.
  • Connie Nielsen – unquestionably yes.
  • Touching wheat – goes 'pro' in this movie.
Picking nits
  • Commodus should have killed Maximus immediately instead of ordering soldiers to ride him out.
  • The geography makes no sense – Maximus rides from Germany to Spain as if it's a quick trip.
(Probably) unanswerable questions
  • Does 'Gladiator' qualify as a sports movie? Consensus: yes – training montages, halftime speeches, championship games.
  • Did 'Gladiator' pave the way for Game of Thrones? Strong yes – Joffrey modeled on Commodus, incest, battle scenes.
  • What WWE plot does this most resemble? Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon.
Sequel, prequel, prestige TV or untouchable?

The hosts would be upset. They note 'Rome' came a couple years later and Benioff and Weiss likely watched 'Gladiator' before creating Game of Thrones.

Who won the movie?

Russell Crowe – three votes (Bill, Chris, Jason). Joaquin Phoenix gets Shea's vote as a contrarian pick.

Half-assed (internet) research
  • In real life, Marcus Aurelius was not murdered by Commodus – he died of the Antonine Plague in 180 AD.
  • The real Commodus ruled for 12 years and was strangled in his bath by a wrestler named Narcissus.
  • The real Lucilla was implicated in an assassination plot, exiled, then executed.
  • Giannina Facio (Maximus's wife) married Ridley Scott in 2015.