'Remember The Titans'
Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, and Rembert Browne will do up-downs until Bill is no longer tired as they rewatch 'Remember The Titans,' starring Denzel Washington, Will Patton, and Wood Harris.

Cast
Denzel Washington as Coach Herman Boone
Will Patton as Coach Bill Yost
Wood Harris as Julius Campbell
Ryan Hurst as Gerry Bertier
Donald Faison as Petey Jones
Ryan Gosling as Alan Bosley
Directed by: Boaz Yakin
Produced by: Jerry Bruckheimer
Notes
- Almost every major event in the movie is fabricated – the real Coach Boone was widely disliked by players, the Titans' games were all blowouts (nine shutouts in a 13-0 season), and the climactic championship comeback game never happened as depicted.
- Gerry Bertier's car accident actually happened after the season, leaving a state championship banquet – not mid-season as shown in the film.
- In real life, someone threw a toilet through Coach Boone's window, not a brick – Disney changed it.
- Director Boaz Yakin knew nothing about football and Jerry Bruckheimer sent him to a two-week football camp before filming could begin.
- The 'Titan Spirit' theme song was used at the 2008 Democratic National Convention and immediately following Barack Obama's election victory speech.
- This is LeBron James's favorite movie.
- Ryan Gosling is barely noticeable in the background but is clearly the most charming person on screen if you know to look for him – especially during the coordinated dance scenes.
- Michael Keaton turned down Splash to do 'Mr. Mom', and the real Titans were ranked second in the nation in 1971.
Categories
- The Gettysburg speech – 'if we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed.' Incredibly manipulative and yet it absolutely works every single time.
- Left side, strong side – when Gary shoves Julius and they start doing it together, then the whole team joins in. People of a 30-year age range will respond 'strong side' if you say 'left side'.
- Julius and Gary yelling at each other about leadership – 'attitude reflects leadership, captain.' You don't know whose side you're on yet.
- Ronnie Bass coming in after Rev gets hurt – Coach Boone's speech about losing his mother and father in the same month, then the touchdown play going right into 'Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye'.
- The locker room mama joke scene that leads to Sunshine kissing Gerry, Gosling dancing in his own world, and Ray looking overwhelmed.
- Denzel watching game tape with the daughter – treating her like another coach.
- The soundtrack – CCR, Marvin Gaye, Cat Stevens, James Taylor, The Temptations. Introduced Shea Serrano to rock music he'd never heard before.
- The 'Titan Spirit' theme song – used in countless sports telecasts and both the 2008 DNC and Obama's election victory.
- The cast – Wood Harris (Avon Barksdale on The Wire), Ryan Gosling, Donald Faison, Ryan Hurst (Sons of Anarchy), Kip Pardue. Everyone got more famous afterward but still feels like their character.
- The parallel scenes at the restaurant – Sunshine trying to buy everyone dinner and getting refused, followed by the Boone-Yost confrontation about coddling. Two of the smartest moments about race in the film.
- The parenting of that era – nobody is a helicopter parent, and the movie treats the kids independently.
- The 'based on a true story' claim – almost nothing in the movie actually happened as depicted. The championship game was a blowout, the schools were already integrated, Coach Boone was widely disliked.
- Hayden Panettiere as the football-obsessed daughter – dialed up too much, annoying rather than charming. 'This is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship' needed more workshopping.
- 'Water is for cowards' – the opposite of what water does, doesn't hold up in the concussion/player-safety era.
- The racist officiating subplot in the semifinals – corny execution of 'I know what's going on here'.
- The halftime speeches of the championship game – not great.
- The football scenes filmed too close – needed more wide shots.
Ed Harris instead of Will Patton as Coach Yost – Patton is the poor man's Ed Harris, and Harris going nose-to-nose with Denzel would have been a different, arguably better movie.
- Sappy Disney sports movies – this is when they mastered the formula. Bigger and better than 'Miracle', and they kept doing it with The Rookie and others afterward.
- Everyone else in the cast went on to do something better – except maybe Blue (the singing character), whose whole career peaked here.
- Kip Pardue as Sunshine – this was his high spot.
Denzel delivering 'make sure they remember forever the night they played the Titans' – saying the title of the movie during the movie.
- The other team has nobody in prevent defense with 20 seconds left – once the Titans get past the first couple defenders, there's nobody for 50 yards.
- A TV crew is broadcasting the championship game live in 1971 Virginia – you could barely get a Red Sox game on TV in '71.
- You can't advance a fumble in Texas high school football rules, but they do it multiple times.
- Denzel is holding a spoon with a single grape on it in the cafeteria scene – no fruit cup in sight.
- 50,000 people didn't die at Gettysburg – Denzel says 50,000 men died here but the actual number was about 8,000 deaths.
- The 'based on a true story' fabrications – every major plot point is changed from what actually happened.
- Denzel Washington – the only answer. He could say 'John Brown hind parts' 12 times and it would still work because he's Denzel. This is LeBron putting up 29-10-12 in Sacramento.
- The counterargument: progress won the movie, which is why Obama bookended his whole 2008 campaign with the Titan Spirit theme.